Saturday, June 4, 2011

therapy *gulp*

so after months on the waiting list i have finally started therapy. i'm not sure how much i like my therapist. she's young and kinda alt-looking and she gardens. she's also really therapisty in that slow, soothing voice, "how does that make you feel? "well that's understandable" sort of way that kinda grates on my nerves. i'm now realizing that part of what took me so long was not just the annoyance of actually finding someone (although that isn't easy) but the terror that now i'm all out of excuses. no more bitching that i have no skilled support and can't do it by myself, etc. now i actually have to decide what i want to work on and then do the fucking work. even if i think it sounds stupid and don't think it will help. enough is enough. i'm going to dive into the center of my shit, rearrange my work schedule, do whatever i'm told and just go with it. yes i am trying to talk myself into this. i refuse to waste the rest of my youth being damaged and dysfunctional. here i go

1 comment:

  1. I have been going lately too. The woman I'm seeing is so.. eccentric. She gets right into the root of the problem and tells me when im being an idiot :) I kinda like that in a therapist!!

    Take everything you can from it, because really, they're just helping delve deeper into the parts of you that you want to let out. Let everything you can out, its a safe place to do it!

    Congrats <3