spinach dip

difficulty rating: Rrrrgh . . . . Brains . . . .
now THIS is how spinach dip is supposed to look and taste! no mayo in sight and plenty of happy green spinach, not the tiny bit of sad brown stuff found behind the deli counter. besides, this is so easy it's embarrassing. dooo eeeet:
1 pkg frozen chopped spinach (about 1.5 cups, lightly drained)
1 cup sour cream (use low fat if you like)
1 pkg light cream cheese (8oz or 1 cup)
1 pkg dry vegetable soup mix (knoor or no-name work fine, don't get the tomato-vegetable type)
2 Tbs-1/3 cup minced onion
1 Tbs dill
1 tsp garlic 1/2 tsp black pepper
2-5 Tbs milk, to thin if needed

some of these measurements are approximate since i just throw this together, it's pretty forgiving. you can mix it in the blender if you like.
soften cream cheese, stir everything together, refrigerate for at least an hour
serve with bread, preferably sourdough

pride and prejudice of your own creations

do any of my fellow creative people ever find yourself in this duality of knowing how much skill and time and effort goes into a project, but also feeling that your own work isn't as good as something you bought from the store? even once you understand how something is made that doesn't seem to erase the ingrained belief that you can't or shouldn't do it yourself. our culture has done a good job of beating into our heads that ALL food, clothing, shelter, jewelry, booze, entertainment, and everything else MUST be manufactured entirely by experts who've spent decades perfecting the art or by machines in factories (or child labor). it never used to be this way. this is a phenomenon that the industrial revolution and mass media forced upon us. yes, it's convenient to be able to buy a pair of flip flops for 2.99 at any big box store in the summer, but at what cost does that come? who made them? what enviromental impact did that have? will they even last or will i have to replace them in a month? what if i did make them myself? i could use other materials; recycled or sustainable or at least more durable. i would know they were good quality and not made by a 7 year old making $0.20 a day. would they be as uniform as all the rows and rows on the shelves? of course not, i don't have nearly as much practice. what they would be is unique and probably better if not just as good. they might be entirely recycled stuff or they might cost 2-3 times as much in materials, does that make them worse or better? no. i'll also be able to fix them, should they break, and have the pride of saying "i made them myself". this is a concept that was far more common a few generations ago. our grandparents did not have this disposable attitude that you would just buy new anytime something was less then perfect. they fixed things that were broken, or made a replacement themselves, and you know what? there's a reason they say things like "they just don't make things like they used to", it's true! now everything is made by machine or by underpaid labor instead of by hand with pride, and it's designed to fall apart so you buy more things. the idea that you can't do stuff for yourself was specifically impressed upon us in order to make us buy more things. that doesn't make it true. what it does is create a society of stunted human animals who are incapable of providing even the basic necessities of life for themselves. we're relied on others to do things for us for so long that we're starting to lose these basic arts. from cooking to making clothes to animal husbandry and gardening to making a shelter to making music and storytelling. these used to be vital arts that everyone knew. some were better at one thing then another, which is how we ended up with cities where you have a butcher and a baker and seamstress, etc and we gathered to share our skills. now we gather just to make it easier to get to our jobs (many of which are NOT essential in the world, don't kid yourself, my own included) and to get to stores where we buy things that were made by nameless people in a land far far away. there is something seriously wrong with that. what happened to our pride in our work? what happened to self sufficiency and quality and community? how can we get them back? it starts with trying out doing something for yourself that you could just as easily pay someone else to do; something you're interested in and will enjoy the results of. then it becomes a matter of retraining yourself with the proof of your own experience that you CAN do most things yourself and it IS just as good, if not better then what you can buy in the stores, and is often cheeper and healthier. another thing i've found helps is to name your creations. don't call it "some fruit wine i brewed in a bucket", call it "black cherry shiraz" or something and serve it to your friends. their reviews will help you appreciate the end result. remember that your simplified system is usually only a smaller setup then what's found in factories but you're not adding scary chemicals and yours was made with a lot more care and attention. bear in mind that not all your experiments will work and that's ok. you learn from the mistakes and the next time is better. get it knocked right out of your head that you CAN'T do something. of course you can if you want to learn how, and who knows when these things will come in useful?

cider variations

after that first test batch that went so well we've never looked back. i adopted some big water cooler jugs from a neighbor who had them out for recycling (silly people, if you return them yourself you get $10 each and i'm going to sterilize them anyways) and now i try to always have at least 2 batches on the go at any given time. the jugs hold just over 4 gallons each which translates to filling 8 2-litre pop bottles per batch, for about $20. not too shabby at about 10% alcohol. the basic batch tastes a lot like big rock cider or strongbow, but less watered down (the commercial ones taste like mine if you mixed it 50/50 with soda water).
of course we get tired of the basic stuff after a while so i've been experimenting with flavors in a few ways: adding vanilla beans to the mix, which added little black flecks but otherwise had little effect. swapping 25% of the apple juice for a different fruit has had mixed results. the guava and cranberry turned out nice but a bit subtle. the raspberry turned out a touch bitter and very subtle. we also tried adding maple syrup instead of some of the sugar while bottling as well as a little almond extract at that time. the almond flavor came through a lot more then i was expecting but the maple barely at all. that batch also didn't really carbonate for some reason. wild sugars like maple syrup and honey are very unpredictable. it might have carbonated if i'd left it longer. most recent experiments have been with adding concentrated juices. so far the only one that we've tasted is one i emptied a full litre of blackcurrent concentrate into (was supposed to be mixed with water at 1:5 ratio) which was incredibly surprising as it started out smelling strongly like blackcurrent and being a deep purple colour, but by the time we bottled it was only slightly darker then our regular cider and had lost all of the flavor. it also didn't really carbonate for some reason. :( i do plan to try that one again but i think i'll add the blackcurrent juice at bottling time as that seemed to preserve flavors better. i've got one with concentrated peach juice and one with concentrated white grape still finishing up, we'll how those are in the next few weeks. i still haven't bottled the dry sage flavored experiment i started months ago, lol. next one i'm trying i'll be throwing in a handful or two of lavender in, just for shits and giggles.
little things i've learned along the way: you don't need fancy equipment. it's nice and makes your life easier but it's really not necessary. you can produce just as lovely results with recycled and repurposed items as you can with a $300 setup. you can always replace with nicer stuff as you get more into it. i am very happy that i bought a decent auto-syphon and bottling rig. i tried to do it with just a piece of aquarium tubing and a standard suck-on-the-end syphon at first and it can be done but it's not very sanitary and it makes an unholy mess. the whole rig cost me about $15 and it's totally worth it. it's also a pain in the ass to sterilize. the easiest way i've found is to do so as you're sterilizing another carboy as you've already got a big container full of sanitizer solution that you can just syphon out instead of dumping and then do the same with plain hot water to rinse.
you can use hot water with a touch of dishsoap and a bit of bleach to sanitize. just be sure to rinse really well. plastic holds the bleach smell a lot more then glass, which is why i want to get good glass carboys one of these days. the glass ones also last longer since they don't get all scratched and nasty. i'll be scouring craig's list for cheep ones instead of paying $40 each at bosa grape most likely. if you fear bleach you can also use vinegar followed by peroxide (don't mix them together first, that makes a scary chemical) but you really shouldn't water it down. a spray bottle might do the job. you can buy special "no rinse" sanitizer but i have no idea what chemical they use in that and i've seen it cause scary amounts of bubbling while bottling so i think i'd give it a rinse anyways, but one rinse would be much less annoying then 3 or 4 for bleach
baloons with a few pinholes poked in them work just as well as "proper" airlocks and will fit on the top of almost all containers. if you do get the proper ones, the type that comes apart into several pieces are easier to use and more effective then the S shaped ones with the two chambers
fancy expensive wine/beer yeast doesn't work any better then regular champagne yeast but you don't want to use baking yeast.
don't bottle in glass if you plan to carbonate. it will explode. technically that's possible with plastic too but at least pop bottles were designed to take the pressure. besides, exploded plastic bottle is a mess. exploded glass bottle is a dangerous mess. some people keep all their filled, carbonating bottles in large tupperware containers just in case. i'd like to look into getting swing-top bottles and seeing if that would work better. you can bottle in glass if you're sure it's done fermenting and wont carbonate. save yourself some hassle and use screw-top bottles instead of corks.
overall remember that this isn't rocket science. yeast plus sugar plus time equals alcohol and CO2. humans have been doing this for a long time and the worst that's likely to happen is something tastes bad. you're not going to kill yourself and it isn't that hard. have fun with it and tell me about your experiments!

therapy *gulp*

so after months on the waiting list i have finally started therapy. i'm not sure how much i like my therapist. she's young and kinda alt-looking and she gardens. she's also really therapisty in that slow, soothing voice, "how does that make you feel? "well that's understandable" sort of way that kinda grates on my nerves. i'm now realizing that part of what took me so long was not just the annoyance of actually finding someone (although that isn't easy) but the terror that now i'm all out of excuses. no more bitching that i have no skilled support and can't do it by myself, etc. now i actually have to decide what i want to work on and then do the fucking work. even if i think it sounds stupid and don't think it will help. enough is enough. i'm going to dive into the center of my shit, rearrange my work schedule, do whatever i'm told and just go with it. yes i am trying to talk myself into this. i refuse to waste the rest of my youth being damaged and dysfunctional. here i go

ratatouille!

difficulty rating: bottle short of a six pack
say it with me now, it's fun to roll the R's: RRRRRRAATATOEEEEE! this was originally for the crock pot but i found it didn't fit in mine so i just do it in a stock pot on med-low heat. if you're shopping at a green grocer this is dirt cheep and would be easily doubled for a crowd. it takes time but once you've got everything cut up you can just ignore it for the most part. would make impressive dinner party food for a harvest festival or something, especially when paired with home made bread, preferably of the garlic variety. i've developed a fondness for french peasant food. i've also learned that simple, good quality ingredients treated with respect will get you much better results then a ton of complicated add-ins and if something looks like it won't work, it probably won't (see tomato mustard pie) what does work is letting all the liquid in the veggies slowly become the base for a thick stew, mmmmm:
1 large eggplant, peeled and cut into 1 inch cubes
2 medium onions, or one large, chopped into 1/2" pieces
2 cups chopped fresh tomatoes (about 3 medium)
1 large green bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch squares
1 large red bell peppers or 1 large yellow bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch squares
3 medium zucchini, cut in 1/2" slices, the cut slices into quarters so you have roughly 1/2" cubes
4-6 large mushrooms, any kind you like, chopped into 1/2"-3/4" cubes
3 tablespoons olive oil, aproximate, i just add a good splash
3 tablespoons dried basil (or more of fresh if you have it)
1 tablespoon dried dill (or more of fresh if you have it)
2-4 garlic cloves, crushed or minced, i love my garlic grinder
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper, or more if you like
salt, to taste
1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
1 jar pitted kalamata olives, roughly chopped or buy the sliced kind
1 cup feta cheese, crumbled, i often use the low-fat kind

add oil to stock pot, cut up all the veggies and dump in along with the garlic and other spices. stir together more or less.
put a lid on the pot and turn the heat to med-low. wander away. go make bread.
stir every 30 min or so for 1 1/2-2 hours, until the veggies are starting to go a little mushy and there's plenty of liquid in the bottom. it starts cooking a lot faster at this stage, if your bread isn't done turn the heat to as low as it will go and it'll hold for another 30 min while you finish that. stir in your olives and tomato paste, taste and adjust seasonings. i usually let it simmer for 10 min or so at this stage to let the flavors blend
serve with a healthy sprinkling of feta and a couple pieces of bread per person. regardless of this being vegetarian, it is very filling so don't fill large bowls!
this also reheats well. i often take it to work for lunch for several days after i make it and fend off drooling coworkers
for the health conscious: this is extremely high in fiber and very low in calories. it doesn't have a ton of protein but you could add some meat or veggie substitute if you want to up that. it has a moderate amount of fat and sodium from the olives and olive oil. you can use less oil if you like and less or no olives. don't skip the feta. it really balances the whole thing out. you don't need a ton and you can use low fat if you like
for the lazy: enlist the other people eating this to chop veggies and make an evening of it. you can chat and linger over wine while it cooks. wouldn't hurt to add a splash to the pot too. you can make my garlic bread with store bought french bread if needed, it's still a lot better then the stuff pre-smeared with who knows what and wrapped in paper/foil bags. you can also buy pre-crumbled feta and pre-sliced olives if you want.
makes about 6 servings. i'm told it's good cold as well or used as a topping for baked potatoes or pasta. will have to try that.

things i wish someone taught me

random thoughts while on the train listening to the silly high school girls who know nothing of the real world yet. i was remembering my high school days and thinking that i knew a fair amount more about the real world then this generation seems to at that age. maybe that's just the vanity of getting older, we all like to fancy ourselves better then the newcomers. it did get me thinking about our education system though, and specifically about that most useless of classes: carreer and personal planning. the concept for this class is good. it's supposed to teach life skills and provide teenagers with a place and time to plan their futures with the guidance of a teacher or councellor. the reality is an abysmal failure. once in a while they have you do an aptitude test or write a crappy resume that nobody tells you how to improve. most of the time it's crap like abstinance-only sex ed or interpreting emotions from facial expressions (taught with smiley faces handdrawn and photcopied? have we not all been doing this FROM BIRTH? wouldn't photographs at least be more useful?). most of the time no one bothers to teach at all. it's 30-60 min where someone takes attendance, and then everyone sits around chatting or catching up on homework. plenty of teachers will let you just wander off once you've checked in. i think we could do a lot better for our teenagers. teach them things that will be needed in the real world that aren't covered under other classes. looking back at my formal education, there is precious little that has been of any practical use in the real world. perhaps we should talk to school boards and tell them what this curriculum should look like between grades 6 and 12. some of this could be covered in a better gym class (also pathetic). in no particular order, i think it should be:
-writing a resume that will get you an interview
-interviewing so you actually get a job
-writing and sticking to a simple budget
-cost effective grocery shopping for good nutrition and minimal waste
-what to look for when apartment hunting
-how to get along with landlords and neighbors
-communication and conflict resolution between friends, family, and partners
-simple cooking from scratch
-balancing your diet and creating a good relationship with your body
-finding exercise that you enjoy
-efficient and green house cleaning
-growing a vegetable garden including the importance of composting and other sustainable practices
-personal improvement and goal setting
-basic first aid
-how to pack light and travel cheep
-basics of how the canadian government works
-simple repairs to: clothes, cars, toilets, wooden items such as furniture or fences
-sorting out your priorities and values, making hard decisions
-painting a room
-cooking on a campfire
-simple computer troubleshooting
-basic self defense

more advanced life skills could be:
-intermediate first aid
-simple herbal medicine
-build a fence/shed/raised garden bed
-basic knitting and clothes making
-bicycle repair and use for cargo-carrying, etc
-simple pet first aid
-intermediate cooking from scratch

what else do you think we should ensure our kids know by the time they graduate? what do you wish you had been taught? what did you learn the hard way or still don't know that should have been taught in high school?

no shampoo

now don't go EEEEEWWW until you hear me out. a hundred years ago nobody bathed daily. not even monthly. higher class people might bathe once every 3 or 4 months. the average person, more like once a year. generally that was done in May, which is why most weddings were at summer solstice in June, everyone still smelled fairly good by then. the bride carrying flowers was to mask any BO. did they smell? i'm sure they did. but probably not as much as you or i would if we didn't wash for a year. your body is a very adaptive creature and only produces the oils, pheromones, and sweat that you NEED, and they do all serve a purpose. if you're not washing them away then your body clues in and stops making so much. having a bath meant heating a lot of water, usually on the stove, and using precious and expensive soap that was also very harsh on the skin and hair. even as late as the 50's most people washed their hair once a month, mostly because shampoo was still very harsh and using it daily would probably have left you bald. that's where we get the excuse of "oh i can't go out with you tonight, i'm washing my hair". in the 70's shampoo got much milder, mild enough to use every day. note here that CAN does not equate to MUST. you CAN wash your hair every day with no ill effects. you can probably do it twice a day, although i'm not sure who's that dirty. does that mean you HAVE to? of course not. it actually took an awful lot of marketing to convince people that showering every day, including washing their hair, was necessary and normal. how much money do we all now spend per year on soap, shampoo, conditioner, in-shower moisturizer, bubble bath, bath oil, exfoliators, shower poofs, loofahs, and a hundred other things? and where are those things going when we're done with them? what is that doing to the water and the fish? this is a new thing in the face of human evolution. my cat gets a bath about once a year, during shedding season, unless he's somehow covered himself in something nasty. he smells like a cat. he is not greasy or dirty. his tongue baths brush out any bits of crap and spread the oils, etc around to keep his fur healthy. mammals are designed this way. i currently haven't washed my hair in about two months. it smells like hair. it doesn't feel greasy or dirty. it doesn't itch. my brushing and rinsing daily remove any bits of dirt or sweat. freshly rinsed and brushed hair IS clean. it just hasn't been stripped of it's natural oils. i had come across the idea of going "no poo" some time ago and did a bunch of reading and thought it made good sense. one day i was about to wash it and then looked at it and went "you know, it's not greasy or dirty at all. it's actually quite dry. i think i'll leave it alone for now" and decided that would be a good time to take the plunge. it had also occurred to me that i had been washing my hair every second day (with the exception of some camping trips, etc) for my ENTIRE life. i had no idea what my hair was capable of doing when left alone. after all, i could go back to washing it any time i liked so it's not a huge deal. they say it takes 3-6 weeks for your hair to adjust and stop making so much oil. it's kinda like a mother breast feeding. you only make the amount you need. my experience has been that as long as i rinsed well every day my hair was just starting to get oily by the time i was going to bed. i can live with that. i'm actually trying to cut back a bit and only rinse it every other day if i can get away with it because i get annoyed with having my hair wet for half my waking hours. actually that's not quite true (but it feels like it) since a strange thing started happening around week 2: you know how cats with a thick undercoat, or otters with their fur's oily coating, tend to repel water? my hair gets wet easily enough but it's like it doesn't penetrate. it dries in half the time it used to for some odd reason. other things i've noticed are less dandruff, less shedding, less tangling, and it generally behaves itself better then usual. it hasn't been a really dramatic shift, but it has been a subtly nice one. overall i've found my hair is healthier and happier without adding anything but water to it. do i think shampoo is evil? of course not. it's just that my hair doesn't need it. at least not on a very regular basis. i see no reason to buy and use extra chemicals when i do better without. i do still use soap on the rest of me but you know, i find the same thing seems to be true: the more often i wash, the more i NEED to. if i wash the rest of me every day when i'm rinsing my hair, i smell a lot more, a lot faster. if i rinse all of me really well (it's the scrubbing action that gets you clean btw, much more then the soap) and only use soap every other day, i'm a much better smelling person. work creates work. the more crap you use, the more you need. it's rather like using vinegar and newspaper to clean the windows because it actually does a much better job then scary ammonia and expensive paper towels, so why would i spend money on windex?