ratatouille!

difficulty rating: bottle short of a six pack
say it with me now, it's fun to roll the R's: RRRRRRAATATOEEEEE! this was originally for the crock pot but i found it didn't fit in mine so i just do it in a stock pot on med-low heat. if you're shopping at a green grocer this is dirt cheep and would be easily doubled for a crowd. it takes time but once you've got everything cut up you can just ignore it for the most part. would make impressive dinner party food for a harvest festival or something, especially when paired with home made bread, preferably of the garlic variety. i've developed a fondness for french peasant food. i've also learned that simple, good quality ingredients treated with respect will get you much better results then a ton of complicated add-ins and if something looks like it won't work, it probably won't (see tomato mustard pie) what does work is letting all the liquid in the veggies slowly become the base for a thick stew, mmmmm:
1 large eggplant, peeled and cut into 1 inch cubes
2 medium onions, or one large, chopped into 1/2" pieces
2 cups chopped fresh tomatoes (about 3 medium)
1 large green bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch squares
1 large red bell peppers or 1 large yellow bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch squares
3 medium zucchini, cut in 1/2" slices, the cut slices into quarters so you have roughly 1/2" cubes
4-6 large mushrooms, any kind you like, chopped into 1/2"-3/4" cubes
3 tablespoons olive oil, aproximate, i just add a good splash
3 tablespoons dried basil (or more of fresh if you have it)
1 tablespoon dried dill (or more of fresh if you have it)
2-4 garlic cloves, crushed or minced, i love my garlic grinder
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper, or more if you like
salt, to taste
1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
1 jar pitted kalamata olives, roughly chopped or buy the sliced kind
1 cup feta cheese, crumbled, i often use the low-fat kind

add oil to stock pot, cut up all the veggies and dump in along with the garlic and other spices. stir together more or less.
put a lid on the pot and turn the heat to med-low. wander away. go make bread.
stir every 30 min or so for 1 1/2-2 hours, until the veggies are starting to go a little mushy and there's plenty of liquid in the bottom. it starts cooking a lot faster at this stage, if your bread isn't done turn the heat to as low as it will go and it'll hold for another 30 min while you finish that. stir in your olives and tomato paste, taste and adjust seasonings. i usually let it simmer for 10 min or so at this stage to let the flavors blend
serve with a healthy sprinkling of feta and a couple pieces of bread per person. regardless of this being vegetarian, it is very filling so don't fill large bowls!
this also reheats well. i often take it to work for lunch for several days after i make it and fend off drooling coworkers
for the health conscious: this is extremely high in fiber and very low in calories. it doesn't have a ton of protein but you could add some meat or veggie substitute if you want to up that. it has a moderate amount of fat and sodium from the olives and olive oil. you can use less oil if you like and less or no olives. don't skip the feta. it really balances the whole thing out. you don't need a ton and you can use low fat if you like
for the lazy: enlist the other people eating this to chop veggies and make an evening of it. you can chat and linger over wine while it cooks. wouldn't hurt to add a splash to the pot too. you can make my garlic bread with store bought french bread if needed, it's still a lot better then the stuff pre-smeared with who knows what and wrapped in paper/foil bags. you can also buy pre-crumbled feta and pre-sliced olives if you want.
makes about 6 servings. i'm told it's good cold as well or used as a topping for baked potatoes or pasta. will have to try that.

things i wish someone taught me

random thoughts while on the train listening to the silly high school girls who know nothing of the real world yet. i was remembering my high school days and thinking that i knew a fair amount more about the real world then this generation seems to at that age. maybe that's just the vanity of getting older, we all like to fancy ourselves better then the newcomers. it did get me thinking about our education system though, and specifically about that most useless of classes: carreer and personal planning. the concept for this class is good. it's supposed to teach life skills and provide teenagers with a place and time to plan their futures with the guidance of a teacher or councellor. the reality is an abysmal failure. once in a while they have you do an aptitude test or write a crappy resume that nobody tells you how to improve. most of the time it's crap like abstinance-only sex ed or interpreting emotions from facial expressions (taught with smiley faces handdrawn and photcopied? have we not all been doing this FROM BIRTH? wouldn't photographs at least be more useful?). most of the time no one bothers to teach at all. it's 30-60 min where someone takes attendance, and then everyone sits around chatting or catching up on homework. plenty of teachers will let you just wander off once you've checked in. i think we could do a lot better for our teenagers. teach them things that will be needed in the real world that aren't covered under other classes. looking back at my formal education, there is precious little that has been of any practical use in the real world. perhaps we should talk to school boards and tell them what this curriculum should look like between grades 6 and 12. some of this could be covered in a better gym class (also pathetic). in no particular order, i think it should be:
-writing a resume that will get you an interview
-interviewing so you actually get a job
-writing and sticking to a simple budget
-cost effective grocery shopping for good nutrition and minimal waste
-what to look for when apartment hunting
-how to get along with landlords and neighbors
-communication and conflict resolution between friends, family, and partners
-simple cooking from scratch
-balancing your diet and creating a good relationship with your body
-finding exercise that you enjoy
-efficient and green house cleaning
-growing a vegetable garden including the importance of composting and other sustainable practices
-personal improvement and goal setting
-basic first aid
-how to pack light and travel cheep
-basics of how the canadian government works
-simple repairs to: clothes, cars, toilets, wooden items such as furniture or fences
-sorting out your priorities and values, making hard decisions
-painting a room
-cooking on a campfire
-simple computer troubleshooting
-basic self defense

more advanced life skills could be:
-intermediate first aid
-simple herbal medicine
-build a fence/shed/raised garden bed
-basic knitting and clothes making
-bicycle repair and use for cargo-carrying, etc
-simple pet first aid
-intermediate cooking from scratch

what else do you think we should ensure our kids know by the time they graduate? what do you wish you had been taught? what did you learn the hard way or still don't know that should have been taught in high school?

no shampoo

now don't go EEEEEWWW until you hear me out. a hundred years ago nobody bathed daily. not even monthly. higher class people might bathe once every 3 or 4 months. the average person, more like once a year. generally that was done in May, which is why most weddings were at summer solstice in June, everyone still smelled fairly good by then. the bride carrying flowers was to mask any BO. did they smell? i'm sure they did. but probably not as much as you or i would if we didn't wash for a year. your body is a very adaptive creature and only produces the oils, pheromones, and sweat that you NEED, and they do all serve a purpose. if you're not washing them away then your body clues in and stops making so much. having a bath meant heating a lot of water, usually on the stove, and using precious and expensive soap that was also very harsh on the skin and hair. even as late as the 50's most people washed their hair once a month, mostly because shampoo was still very harsh and using it daily would probably have left you bald. that's where we get the excuse of "oh i can't go out with you tonight, i'm washing my hair". in the 70's shampoo got much milder, mild enough to use every day. note here that CAN does not equate to MUST. you CAN wash your hair every day with no ill effects. you can probably do it twice a day, although i'm not sure who's that dirty. does that mean you HAVE to? of course not. it actually took an awful lot of marketing to convince people that showering every day, including washing their hair, was necessary and normal. how much money do we all now spend per year on soap, shampoo, conditioner, in-shower moisturizer, bubble bath, bath oil, exfoliators, shower poofs, loofahs, and a hundred other things? and where are those things going when we're done with them? what is that doing to the water and the fish? this is a new thing in the face of human evolution. my cat gets a bath about once a year, during shedding season, unless he's somehow covered himself in something nasty. he smells like a cat. he is not greasy or dirty. his tongue baths brush out any bits of crap and spread the oils, etc around to keep his fur healthy. mammals are designed this way. i currently haven't washed my hair in about two months. it smells like hair. it doesn't feel greasy or dirty. it doesn't itch. my brushing and rinsing daily remove any bits of dirt or sweat. freshly rinsed and brushed hair IS clean. it just hasn't been stripped of it's natural oils. i had come across the idea of going "no poo" some time ago and did a bunch of reading and thought it made good sense. one day i was about to wash it and then looked at it and went "you know, it's not greasy or dirty at all. it's actually quite dry. i think i'll leave it alone for now" and decided that would be a good time to take the plunge. it had also occurred to me that i had been washing my hair every second day (with the exception of some camping trips, etc) for my ENTIRE life. i had no idea what my hair was capable of doing when left alone. after all, i could go back to washing it any time i liked so it's not a huge deal. they say it takes 3-6 weeks for your hair to adjust and stop making so much oil. it's kinda like a mother breast feeding. you only make the amount you need. my experience has been that as long as i rinsed well every day my hair was just starting to get oily by the time i was going to bed. i can live with that. i'm actually trying to cut back a bit and only rinse it every other day if i can get away with it because i get annoyed with having my hair wet for half my waking hours. actually that's not quite true (but it feels like it) since a strange thing started happening around week 2: you know how cats with a thick undercoat, or otters with their fur's oily coating, tend to repel water? my hair gets wet easily enough but it's like it doesn't penetrate. it dries in half the time it used to for some odd reason. other things i've noticed are less dandruff, less shedding, less tangling, and it generally behaves itself better then usual. it hasn't been a really dramatic shift, but it has been a subtly nice one. overall i've found my hair is healthier and happier without adding anything but water to it. do i think shampoo is evil? of course not. it's just that my hair doesn't need it. at least not on a very regular basis. i see no reason to buy and use extra chemicals when i do better without. i do still use soap on the rest of me but you know, i find the same thing seems to be true: the more often i wash, the more i NEED to. if i wash the rest of me every day when i'm rinsing my hair, i smell a lot more, a lot faster. if i rinse all of me really well (it's the scrubbing action that gets you clean btw, much more then the soap) and only use soap every other day, i'm a much better smelling person. work creates work. the more crap you use, the more you need. it's rather like using vinegar and newspaper to clean the windows because it actually does a much better job then scary ammonia and expensive paper towels, so why would i spend money on windex?

the garden 2011

we moved in january and the only real disadvantage to the new place is that we don't have a balcony or yard. does that mean i won't be growing food? HAH! i think not. we have window boxes in every window and are growing lettuce:


nasturtiums:


patio and cherry tomatoes (middle one is a cherry ready to be planted between the two patios, three little ones are cherries that will live in other pots):


snow peas that will become a living curtain as they climb the fishing line i've strung across that window (one of two planters pictured):


also basil and strawberries and a bunch of herbs that i couldn't get a decent pic of in the current light conditions. i'm probably going to colonize some space on the fire escape, which i should get to soon since the season is wearing on. the stuff i put out there i'm sure i'll be sharing with our neighbors so i'll be planting something not too precious or something we already have lots of. next year i'm going to ask our landlady if we can put in raised beds all along the back of the building where there is a lonely strip of weedy, unloved grass that no one even walks by. if there's a spigot outside i was going to put in a soaker hose to make watering easier. i did a little guerrilla gardening along the front. there are herb seeds sprinkled amongst the "decorative" (read:pompous, ugly) grass and sunflowers amongst the ugly neglected bushes. i'm not babying those, whatever grows, grows. if the herbs do well the pompous grass may just mysteriously disappear in the night. all the neighbors i've talked to like this idea :)
i apologize for the terrible terrible pics. it's nearly impossible to photograph plants on a windowsill from the inside and not have then either backlit or horribly flash lit. i'll try again with the flash after dark and see if that's better. the nasturtium one turned out ok because i can stand on the fire escape to take it

patchwork skirt goodness

difficulty level: boy scout dropout
i get really bored at work. and angry. and frustrated with my life and all of humanity. i hate my goddamn job. one of the things i do to try to stay sane while there is take craft projects to work on while i talk to idiots. my entire office is filled with people so uncreative and generally useless that they stare at you like you have 4 heads for making your own dinner. they have no idea what to make of my crafts so they don't tell me to stop. this is fine with me, it makes them leave me alone.
i had it in my head that i wanted to make a fun patchwork peasant skirt for spring and it seemed like an easy enough project. i was going to fix the sewing machine to do it but that never ended up happening. also, 50lbs antique sewing machines can't come with me to work. that's ok, have needle and thread, will travel. this is a very forgiving and fairly portable project but it is very time consuming by hand, especially because i back stitched all the seams for added strength since i want the final product to be able to take some abuse. i'm hard on my stuff and have too much time on my hands, what can i say? this took several months of working on it casually. if i'd used the machine and focused it could have been done in an afternoon or two. oh well, it's barely spring now so lots of time to enjoy it still. word to the wise: do wearable time consuming projects a season in advance. spring skirts in the winter, fall scarves in the summer, warm socks and sweaters in the fall, etc. it makes sure you get lots of use out of your creations and keeps you looking forward to the next section of the year. just don't forget to enjoy the current season!
so. we start with the basic idea. this is going to be 4 tiers, each bigger then the last by, lets say 50%. simple wide elastic waist band, patch pockets, maybe an appliqué or two, some lace along one of the tiers somewhere. i was going to do a little beaded belly bracelet thing but scrapped that idea as A) i have no desire to draw attention to my stomach, and B) it would make it much less washable if it's attached. i went to dressew while they had a huge sale on and picked up 1/2-1 meter of some 9 lightweight cottons, mostly fun prints that i thought looked nice together. i have lots of fabric leftover. i might do another one by machine. or some other fun patchwork thing. i like this type of organic, make-it-up-as-you-go design.
take measurement of waist, add 50% so it gathers nicely, divide roughly into 6 (or however many patches you want in the first tier). this gives you the width of the bits for the top. for the length i took the total length i wanted the skirt and divided by 4. for the top tier i added an extra 2 inches for the waistband. that gave me top patches of about 12"x11" if i remember correctly. yours may be different. remember to leave some 1/4-1/2" for seam allowance. cut them out (pinking sheers will save you lots of future headache in fraying or surging or french seaming) in the colours that please you. lay them out like so: [ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ] and see if you like the order. remember that the two ends will be joined together in a loop. stitch them all together. you know to put the right sides together so your raw edges are on the inside, right? course you could just overlap them or put the edges on the outside on purpose, if that's how you roll. or if you fuck up and want to say you did it on purpose. now fold over the top and make a sleeve for your elastic. leave about a 2" gap that you'll close after.
tip->measure your elastic by simply wrapping at around yourself, put the measuring tape down. they all stretch differently and you may want more or less tightness. leave an inch or two of overlap on your elastic and mark in chalk where they overlap before you cut. you can thread your elastic through the sleeve easier if you stick a big safety pin in the end first. make sure it's lying flat, then sew the elastic to itself securely. close your gap and spread out the fabric so it's gathered evenly. sew through the elastic in several lines so it doesn't twist inside while you're wearing it.
ok, have mini skirt so far, yes? tier two will be 50% bigger then tier 1. go get a calculator. divide into the amount of patches that pleases you. i did some bigger and smaller for fun and randomness. it doesn't have to be perfect. sew into a loop like we did before and we're ready to attach 2 to 1. i found it easiest to leave tier 2 inside out and put it around tier 1 laid out on a table. that way your right sides are together. find the middle of each on either side and pin to each other. then find the far fold of tier 2 on either side and pin it to the far fold of tier one. make sense? so far we should have the two pieces pinned together in 4 places evenly around the circle so the four compass points of each layer are pinned to each other and tier two has big loops of extra fabric between the pins. unfortunately i didn't take pics or this would be easier to explain. now for each section you've created you're going to find the middle of each layer and pin it together. repeat that until you have a pin about every inch and layer two is all nicely evenly gathered onto the bottom of tier 2. if you pick it up and shake it out you should see how you now have a knee-length skirt that's wider at the bottom. stitch that down, flattening the gathering as you go.
repeat the steps for tier 2 to make tiers 3 and 4. now you have an ankle length gypsy-style skirt that flares dramatically at the bottom! have someone help you pin it while you're wearing it for the final hem.
i added wide lace along the bottom of tier 2. i was originally going to put it along the hem but decided it looked better in the middle. adding it to the top of a tier where it's gathered would have been much harder to make it look nice since the fabric wouldn't have been flat there. i added a few random patches to add bits of colour and two patch pockets which i'm totally in love with. not enough of my clothes have pockets and these are adorable and useful! put appliqués and patches and pockets wherever you like. just fold over all the edges of the patch size of your choice and sew directly down as close to the edge of the patch as possible. that sewing will show so try to be neat about it. unless you'd prefer to be messy about it in contrasting thread, that would be fun too. for pockets hem one edge before you attach it and don't sew down that side, obviously. the pic is not mine but it is the same style. i'll replace it with my own when i get my damn camera working

perfect garlic bread from scratch

difficulty level: rolling in her grave
yes, more garlic. you always need more. yes you do. shut up.
i haven't posted anything in a while, sorry about that. moving and drama and crap. i should have some pics of the new place up soon. the housewarming party went well. until i have something better to say, i give you PERFECT garlic bread:
you can do this with pre-made french bread if you're short on time but i really think it's worth it to do this from start to finish on a lazy afternoon. goes beautifully with pasta or a nice light cream soup. i use my own homemade butter for this (possibly because i'm crazy). if you want to do that it's really easy: just take whipping cream at room temp, whip it way past the point of whipping cream and you'll see the fat separate from the milk. squeeze the newborn butter to the side of the bowl and pour off the milk (keep that, it's perfectly good), rinse the butter under cold water three or four times, breaking it up to wash out the extra milk, then mix in a little salt. you can easily double or triple this but it may or may not freeze well. the dough and butter would probably freeze better separately.
Ingredients:
bread
* 2 -2 1/2 cups flour
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 cup warm water
* 1/2 tablespoon instant yeast
* 1/2 tablespoon sugar
* 1 tablespoon oil
garlic butter
* 1/4-1/3 cup butter (room temp, homemade really is better)
* 1/2 teaspoon dill
* 6 garlic cloves, minced (i run it through my garlic grinder)
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon fresh black pepper
Directions:
1. mix the yeast and sugar in a measuring cup, that keeps it from getting lumpy, add the cup of warm water and stir together. let sit for 5 min.
2. mix 2 cups flour and salt in a med sized bowl, then dump in yeast mix and stir until a soft dough forms.
3. kneed until dough is smooth and elastic, adding more flour if needed. don't add so much flour that it becomes dry, it should still be slightly sticky.
4. rinse out the bowl and swirl the oil around in it, put the dough back in and turn it over so it's coated.
5. cover the bowl (i like to wrap a tea towel over and under it), and place in a warm (not hot!) oven to rise. i usually turn my oven on to the lowest setting that will turn on the element for 5 min and then turn off.
6. once the dough has doubled in size, punch it down and form into a long, thin loaf. place on a cookie sheet that you've oiled and sprinkled with cornmeal. slash diagonally with a sharp knife 3 or 4 times. place it back in your warm oven until it's doubled again.
7. turn the oven up to 375f for 20 minute my oven runs a little cool so i turn it up to closer to 380 or 390. a little too warm is better then a little too cool in this case. after 20 min it should be nicely golden on top. let it cool until no more then warm.
8. in the mean time mix all ingredients of the garlic butter.
9. slice vertically into 3/4-1 inch slices, leaving the bottom crust intact. carefully pull slices apart so you can spread the butter on each side of each slice without breaking them apart.
10. wrap loosely but completely in foil and bake at 400f for 10-15 minute serve immediately.

knitting socks

difficulty rating: moonprincess ravendark
or how to lose your mind and tear your project apart at least 4 times doing something much more advanced then it's "beginner" label:
i am a beginner knitter. or i was until now anyways. i think i get to call myself intermediate after this nonsense. i was making scarves and the like. big rectangles you can't screw up too badly on big needles where i could see what i was doing with big fluffy yarn that was nice to work with and created fast results. then i got the notion that i wanted to learn a few new skills and try making a basic sock. something comfy to wear on cold evenings around the house, you know? my knitting skills thus far included basic knit and purl, two types of cast on, two types of bind off, and one way each to increase and decrease stitches. i understood how knit and purl were put into different patterns to create moss, stocking, or rib stitch, and had made such challenging things as a simple hat (that ended up too big, lessons in gauge not learned yet), and a pair of bootie slippers (that's slippers like little boots, btw, not for your bum) wherein i learned how to read a basic pattern and use the "wrong" size in said pattern to make my gauge cooperate and make the right size. i think i've got a decent handle on things, no? oh no. i am very much mistaken. i am now about to learn:
-how to read a much more advanced knitting pattern with at least 5 abbreviations i've never heard of
-how to use double pointed needles (something akin to teaching a dyslexic porcupine sign language)
-how to basically create your own pattern from a template, after the 4th try
-how to work with loosely spun, very uncooperative yarn
-what slipping a stitch means
-what the hell a gusset is
-slip 1, knit 1, pass slipped stitched over decreases, and how it can create holes if you don't do it perfectly
-brush up on math skills and thinking 4 steps ahead in 3D knotwork
-how to pick up and knit
-that things that don't seem to make sense in the pattern make more sense when you just try them, sometimes in scrap yarn on much bigger needles
-that sometimes it really doesn't make any damn sense so figure out something that does
-not crying when you pull your project apart for the 3rd time
-solving your own damn problems, including when to say "screw that noise! i'm doing this instead because it works!"
-grafting the toe end so there's magically no seam
i was originally working with this template/pattern: http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring05/FEATsocks101.html which i don't recommend you do because it's written for psychics who are already expert knitters and can understand what the author is talking about even when large chunks of instructions are missing or completely incorrect. i got slightly better help from this series of youtube videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NQMGCo_mXY&feature=related since it's much better to learn knitting from videos then pictures and writing if you don't have someone to teach you in person. i've never written a knitting pattern before so bear with me but i still think i can do a better job then the original. i have taken the original and modified it to make sense to a real person:


The key measurement for sock sizing is the ankle circumference. For women, this is usually about 8 inches, for men about 10 inches. Measure the ankle of the foot in question for the best fit. From this key measurement, subtract 1 inch when knitting for adults and half an inch when knitting for kids. This assumes that you are knitting with typical sock yarn. If you are knitting with a much thicker yarn, do not subtract as much from the ankle measurement.

Get the gauge of the yarn you want to use. This is, of course, best measured from an actual gauge swatch (stockinette for 4"x4", generally)-- even better if done in the round rather than flat since that's how the sock will be knit. When using a yarn not originally meant for socks, use needles a size or two smaller than the label calls for. (i was using red heart soft touch which recommends 6mm needles but it worked much better on 3.5mm) Socks are knitted at a tighter gauge than other garments or they'd be so open weave you'd poke your toe right through them. think of the difference between how tight a shawl is knitted vs. a sock.

The number of stitches to cast on is the magic number, X. Once you've got that, you can create an entire pattern. X is the stitch gauge (per inch) multiplied by the ankle circumference, minus 1 inch or half an inch, as the case may be.

For example: If your yarn provides a gauge of 30 sts over 4 inches, divide by 4 to get the number of stitches to the inch (7.5 sts). Then multiply this number by the ankle circumference less 1 inch. So for someone with an 8" ankle: 7.5 x 7=52 sts.

mine was closer to 25 stitches. this is not typical but this yarn is strange and loosely spun.

The number of stitches you cast on will also be determined somewhat by the ribbing you want to do. K1 p1 rib requires an even number of stitches; k2 p2 rib requires that the number of stitches be divisible by 4. If not, the ribs won't match up at the beginning of the round. it's a good idea to do your test swatch in the round, using the rib pattern you plan to use. in other words, start and re-start your project until you are happy with what you try on after 5-10 rows. yes this is really fucking annoying.

i was using a k3, p2 pattern but i don't think this provided enough elasticity. i'm not sure if making each "rib" bigger or smaller will provide more stretchiness

This section is based entirely on the number of stitches to cast on, X, as calculated above, so be sure you're happy with that number! try it on after a few rows to be sure.

1. Start

Cast on X stitches; divide evenly across 3 double-pointed needles. A long tailed cast-on is recommended; it's nice and stretchy. i simple cast on all onto one needle and then slipped the stitches onto the other needles, being careful not to twist them. there's a decent demonstration here but the key is to keep all the completed stitches on the bottom and the loops at the top without the yarn in between the needles getting wrapped around and forming "yarn overs" where there shouldn't be or making your fabric go in the wrong direction. if it's screwed up you'll be able to see within a few rows. also, keep an eye on how many stitches you have. unlike freeform things like scarves, it's really important to be ocd about the number constantly being perfect. this is the part that annoyed me the most. i suppose i should get over it if i want to be more then a beginner. in any case, the difference of one row or stitch can and will make or break your whole project so be vigilant.

Knit a few rows of ribbing -- check to make sure it's not twisted. you can tell where your round ends by where the tail of your yarn is at the bottom. this usually ends up between two needles. now wouldn't this all be so much nicer if you could get circular needles this small? are you going crazy and cross eyed from the dpn's yet? i am. the key is to ignore all but the two needles in your fingers and trust that the others will stay put. that trust only comes from knowing your tension is consistent and trustworthy, which is why i don't think this is a beginner project, but we've already come this far so moving on!

2. The Cuff + Leg

Keep ribbing some more. if you're working with some crazy pattern your are more adventurous then i and i wish you gods' speed. i just made a ribbed tube until i deemed it long enough. mine was some 4 inches, yours might be more or less, please yourself. just take note of how many rows that was so the other sock will match.

3. Divide for the heel & knit the heel rows

Starting at the beginning of the round, put half the stitches on one needle. that means either knit or slip half of X onto one dpn. remember that your working yarn end has to be at the beginning/end of this new section that you're forming. the heel is a flap that will be knit back and forth on one needle so when you're done you will have a tube with one side extending down past the other side. the part we are not working with right now (the other half of the stitches) should be divided between the other two dpn's to make the next section easier. you're then going to ignore them until the heel flap is done

Work in stockinette stitch (knit right side, purl wrong side) for 2/3 to 3/4 as many rows as there are heel stitches, slipping the first stitch of every row but the first. For a sock less than 50 stitches around in total, 2/3 is good; with more stitches, use 3/4 as the ratio. For example, on a 48-stitch sock with 24 heel stitches, you will work 16 rows; on an 80-stitch sock with 40 heel stitches, use 30 rows. If it's an odd number or fraction, always round up to the nearest even number.

***you must slip the first stitch of each row other then the first in the heel flap!!***

i used 25 as my magic X # so my heel flap was 17 rows long in stockinette. MAKE SURE TO END WITH A PURL ROW SO YOU WILL START TURNING THE HEEL ON A KNIT ROW!!!!! if you don't it will screw up all the other directions and you will drive yourself completely crazy! if you need to do one extra row to make that happen then do so!!!!

4. Turn the heel

Still working on the heel stitches, you're now going to reduce and turn the heel. this means you are still just working on half your total stitches on the one needle but we are going to create an inverted triangle in the center of that flap where the edges of that triangle are all reduction stitches and you end up with a little cup. when you are done this section you should be able to turn your work sideways and see a 90 degree angle.

A bit more math is required here. Divide the number of heel stitches by 3. For a 48-stitch sock, you have 24 heel stitches. This divides evenly as 8-8-8. For a 32-stitch sock with 16 heel stitches, you get 5-6-5.

my 25 stitch sock had a 12 stitch heel flap (since i rounded down, so as not to drive myself crazy) so it divided into 4-4-4. now these are imaginary divisions. all you're trying to do is make an open inverted triangle shape, with the middle opening at the bottom being one third of your stitches. slipping the first stitch of each row besides the first will create loops along the sides that will make it easier to join the flap to the rest of the sock.

Foundation row RS: k the first two-thirds of the stitches, SKP (sl 1, k1, psso), turn
WS: sl 1, p the centre third, p2tog, turn
RS: sl 1, k the centre third, SKP, turn

****this is the hardest part of the sock!!!****
it is very important that your decrease stitch from the previous row is included in the decrease stitch from the next row up or you will create a hole. so if your foundation row has you knit 8 and then slip the 9th stitch, knit the 10th stitch and then pass the 9th stitch over the 10th stitch, you must then turn your work around, slip the first stitch, knit 4 stitches, then purl 2 together so we are including that stitch we did the skp reduction on in those two that are together. this will not only prevent a hole (since skp is essentially casting off a stitch) but it also connects the stitch after the reduction with the rest of the piece so you're creating a gather that makes the 90 degree turn. does that make sense? if not try it on big yarn and big needles and hopefully you'll see how it works. that's the only way i got it.

Repeat these last two rows until your triangle shape of gathers reaches the edges of your row, in other words when you no longer have any stitches to do reductions on at the end of the rows if you've been following the pattern above. The right side must be facing. if for some reason it's not then do another row of purl so it is. if it already is then do two rows. we should end the heel shaping on the right side facing.

5. Shape the Gusset

those two needles holding the other half of the stitches? we're going to stop ignoring them now. On each side, you'll be picking half the number of heel stitches you began with -- that is one quarter of the cast-on stitches. i'm not mathematically inclined so i just went with the amount of loops i had created by slipping the first stitch on each row of the heel flap.


Using the same needle as the heel, pick up the required number of stitches along the first side, using the loops created by the slipping in step 3. This will be referred to as Needle 1 but it's not that important. you'll figure out which is which as we go. picking up means putting your new needle into the loop created along the side of your flap and wrapping the yarn around as if you were doing a normal knit stitch, then pulling it through. by doing so you have created a new stitch. there are decent instructions for turning the heel and picking up the edges/forming the gusset here

Using a new needle, knit across all the top, instep (non-heel) stitches (that's two needle's worth right now). This will be referred to as Needle 2. that means we will now be using one needle for the top half of the stitches, and two needles for the bottom half of the stitches (divided evenly of course)

Using one more new needle, pick up the required number of stitches across the other side, using the loops created by the slipping in step 2. With this same needle, knit half of the remaining heel stitches onto this same needle. This will be referred to as Needle 3.

You should now have the top of the sock's stitches onto one needle, this is called the instep. the bottom of the sock should be divided onto two needles. with me so far? then you're doing really well! only one more tricky stage, then we're pretty much home free.

6. Decrease the Gusset

On the very next round, work a decrease round:

Decrease Round
Needle 1: Knit to last three stitches, k2tog, k1
Needle 2: Knit even
Needle 3: K1, SKP, knit to end of needle

Alternate decrease rounds and even rounds until you're back to X, the number of stitches you cast on originally.

what this means is that we are forming a little (non, inverted this time) triangle to connect the heel flap and instep (which are now joined by you're pick up and knit stitches) to the rest of the sock. the instep is the widest part of your foot so we're decreasing after that to go down the rest until we get to the toe you're decreases are all being made on the sides, one stitch in from the end of each needle, and then a normal knit row in between each row with decreases. so you're going to knit one row normally all the way around, then the next row you're starting with needle one (one of the ones on the bottom of the foot) and knitting until you come to 3 stitches from the end of the needle (side of the foot), then knit two together, then knit one normally. on needle two, which holds the whole top of the foot you're going to start by knitting one normally, then knit two together, then continue till three stitches from the end of the needle, knit two together, knit one. next needle (going back under the foot) knit one normally, knit two together, knit till the end of the needle, which is also the end of the round. knit the next round normally. repeat until you have the magic number of stitches again. you may need to fudge a bit and do one extra decreasing round on one side only or something. this is where solving your own damn problems comes in.

the good news is it's all easy from here!

7. Foot

Once you're back to the original number of stitches, X, knit until the foot of the sock measures 2 inches less than the length of the actual foot that will be wearing the sock.

8. Decrease for the toe

Recall that the center of the round is the center of the bottom part of the foot. Make sure your stitches are distributed as follows: 1/4 of the stitches on Needle 1 starting at the center of the round, 1/2 of the stitches on Needle 2 (these are the stitches for the top of the foot), and the remaining 1/4 on Needle 3.

Work a Decrease round:
Needle 1: knit to last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1.
Needle 2: k1, ssk(slip, slip, knit slipped stitches together decrease), knit to last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1.
Needle 3: k1, ssk, knit to end of needle.
Work an even round.
Alternate decrease rounds and even rounds until 8 stitches remain.

9. Finish

There as many ways to finish a sock as there are to make one. Which method you choose is a matter of taste, skill and patience.

You can reduce the toe down to 8 stitches and do a two-needle bind-off.

Or reduce down to 4 stitches, cut the yarn leaving a long tail, thread this tail on a yarn needle and pull the thread through the 4 stitches, pulling them tight.

Or cast off both sides and sew them together.

The neat and tidy prefer grafting, also known as Kitchener stitch, for a seamless toe. this is what i tried, but since i fucked up and was purling all around instead of knitting all around it didn't work like i wanted. it didn't occur to me until after to turn the whole thing inside out but oh well. i'll do that next time.